sunday night thoughts

It's a strange thing to wash another woman's blood out of your husband's tennis shoes. To take him dinner at the hospital because he's on trauma call and hear about a sweet elderly couple who made a Sunday afternoon trip to Target and wound up in the Emergency Department after an ill-fated left turn. To know the blood came as he and the trauma team worked frantically, unsuccessfully, to save the wife's life after realizing the husband had lost his. And then to see him clearly emotionally affected as he described her last minutes while he ate his turkey sandwich and pasta salad.

It's what makes living with a doctor in training a little different than living with a lawyer or a banker. It's why our marriage often has an extra element of stress that's hard to describe to friends outside of this residency world- a world full of nights alone, little vacation, long work hours, including weekends, and extra laundry. But it also makes us value the time we DO have together and the success stories of patients who are saved. And it frequently reminds us that life on this earth is fleeting.

I have loved listening to Laura Story's song "Blessings" as of late, and I couldn't help but think of these lines from the song as I drove home tonight.

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst

This world can't satisfy?

And so I washed the tennis shoes, prayed for the couple's family and my husband, and thanked God for my safety and that of my family, grateful for another day here.